Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
