I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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