hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
