we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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