I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
