Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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