I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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