i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
