he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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