She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
