Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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