you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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