New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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