It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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