Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
