Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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