we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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