He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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