we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
