Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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