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I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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