what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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