Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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