To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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