she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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