I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
