I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We talked him into tasing himself.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
