Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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