Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
