were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He? As in you personified your dick?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
