so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
