Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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