Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This is classic penis vs brain.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
