I will die if light touches me.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
