all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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