thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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