Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
