he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
