New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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