Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
