Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
