READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
