Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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