drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Let's paint friendship bongs
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
