You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
