dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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