There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
