If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
