The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
