omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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