Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize