I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
