I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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