I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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