Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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