hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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