you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I understand Curling. That high.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
