I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
