She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
