and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
