My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
