yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
