It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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