The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
