I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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