i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
