I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
