Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize