then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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