I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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