Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm at about main and main street
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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