actually, I'm a sock model
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
